I’ve Never Felt So Anxious In My Life

I’ve never felt so anxious in my life…

10 months into my postpartum journey I began to experience anxiety on a level I didn’t know existed. So much so, that I didn’t even know what to call it.

As a devote yogi, meditator & dancer, anxiety has never been an issue in my life. I’ve never had trouble regulating my nervous system.

I learned early on as a performer how to keep my nerves under control with breath & affirmations. Anxiety is very foreign to me, so it completely caught me off guard.

Walking into a noisy packed restaurant, or house gathering with friends, was overwhelming. So much so that I stopped wanting to go out & hang with my friends.

I felt like my senses were turned up x 10 & my thoughts were racing about random things I would normally never worry about.

My appetite would wax & wane. I couldn’t eat if I was anxious & certain foods made me feel nauseous.

Whenever my son would cry, I would rush to him & try to calm him down quickly because I couldn’t regulate the fear response in my own body.

I also felt maternal separation anxiety sometimes when we were apart. I couldn’t wait to get back to him. Just holding him calmed my body down.

I remember sitting at a stoplight in traffic & feeling like I was going to have a panic attack alone in the car.

I was in a chronic state of fear & had no idea how long it would last, or what was causing it until I did some research on postpartum anxiety.

Postpartum Anxiety

I had no idea that postpartum anxiety could strike so late in my baby’s 1st year of life. Baby blues were super common right after birth, that I know, but really underestimated the intensity of the breastfeeding weaning process.

There were some bloodwork done to see if I was deficient in any nutrients or had hormones imbalances. My estrogen & progesterone were low & I was deficient in Vitamin D. So I was given supplements to help bring my body back into balance. It’s been several weeks now & my anxiety has vanished.

I think it’s SUPER important to normalize this very common challenge for postpartum mamas.

Too many women are suffering in silence ashamed to share how their mental health has been affected by a pregnancy, breastfeeding & raising a baby.