“Meet me at 8 o’clock.” Tonight you’ve got dinner plans with a new hottie. Between the flat iron, perfume, and the most fierce outfit you could throw together in a half hour you’re ready for your dream man. All is going fabulous except those damn butterflies and the reeling analysis of your last conversation with the hunk. Little do you know you could be sabotaging the success of the night just by your thoughts.
Whether it’s meeting someone new, experiencing a new place, or the first day of a dream job, our past experiences, assumptions and expectations can slaughter any hope of a positive outcome.� We learn to assume and expect as a way to categorize life and protect ourselves from repeating past mistakes (or heart aches). And while it might be a good idea to assume a tidal wave is going to kill you, presuming you know how someone is going to treat you or other seemingly insignificant every day matters is dangerous. We learn from and utilize past experiences to face situations in the now, but we don’t always realize how they can negatively warp our vision of reality.
Prime example: I recently had a mind blowing experience meeting someone new. I found myself assuming they would act, talk and treat me a certain way. All based on past negative experiences of course. I was literally stunned every time my assumptions didn’t follow through. “I mean…every guy acts this way, right?” Wrong. The more I started to realize how I was labeling the situation the more I awoke to the way I was twisting my interactions with this new person because of negative assumptions. Getting out of my head and dropping assumptions opened the door for positive change and interaction.
In the ever persistent quest of mental clarity and present living, here is our challenge: Next time you meet someone or experience something new pay attention to your thoughts. Notice what assumptions or expectations you’re bringing to the situation and how it changes the way you speak, act and respond. Open your eyes to what’s really going on in front of you and take it at face value. Be present. If the person or situation doesn’t suit you then move on, but make a choice coming from a clear place without emotional baggage. Once we are aware of our thought patterns we step into the real moment. No longer run by our wild emotions and past fears.
Vaporizing any negative connotations from the past allows new exciting doors to open in the present. If you are constantly putting up barriers and screening yourself with your own past you’re not open to life. Keep those arms open.
What’s your experience with assuming too much? Have you ever presumed something was going to go down a certain way only to have it backfire? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
